Saturday, 20 December 2008

Joseph Obi ¦ " Robert Mugabe is not the most pressing Zimbabwe Problem . . . at the moment "



Controversial Black British Human Rights Activist , Doctor Joseph Obi , has publicly defended the recently re-elected Zimbabwean President , Dr Robert Mugabe.

Speaking at yet another Private Round Table Discussion on African Affairs , the eclectic Professor Obi bluntly re-iterated :

" It is already on due public record that His Excellency Dr Robert Gabriel Mugabe successfully contested the Zimbabwean Presidential Elections . . . and was duly declared to be the lawful winner of the said 2008 Presidential Election by the Statutorily Competent Zimbabwean Electoral Commission (ZEC) . . . in addition to having also being formally sworn in by the Lord Chief Justice of Zimbabwe (with all of the Supreme Court Justices and Defence Chiefs in tow).

Shocking though these comments may seem , there is actually precious little that anyone out there can really do about it ,(short of either an Assassination or an Invasion or both) ; as Zimbabwe still remains a Sovereign National State in it's very own right.

What Zimbabwe really needs to do right now is widely open it's Doors to Charitable Organizations and defiantly tell Prime Minister Gordon Brown (of the UK) to mind his own bloody business, while Africa seriously tries to resolve the problem just like the AU recently did (under very similar circumstances) in Kenya.

Dr Gordon Brown was never ever elected to be British Prime Minister via any general election in the UK , and he never ever even had the bleeding guts to honourably hold a general election once it dawned upon him that he would most probably lose it !

So what moral right does Gordon Brown now have to challenge the legitimacy of Robert Mugabe on the election issue ?"






When asked how precisely he would solve the problem , Professor Joseph Obi essentially churned out his previous statement on the matter:

"I have never (ever) been comfortable with the idea of Robert Mugabe being the Omnipotent Executive (Presidential) Head of State. Zimbabwe (former Rhodesia) has historically had both a Prime Minister and a Head of State.

My previously publicized solution to this whole wretched quagmire has already been duly implemented ; and essentially involved bringing back the post of Prime Minister of Zimbabwe , and warmly offering it to Morgan Tsvangirai of the MDC - whose political party decisively won the Parliamentary Elections , as officially declared by the ZEC.

My aforementioned plan also allowed Dr Robert Mugabe - who decisively won the Zimbabwean Presidential Elections (as officially declared by the ZEC) to remain as Titular Head of State ; up until the hallowed time when he gracefully gives up the Ghost (which I can assure you will probably not be as long as you think).

My solution also demanded that George W Bush , Gordon Brown and all of the other nosey little busybodies (outside Zimbabwe) should kindly concentrate on the Huge Poverty (and Destitution) in their very own countries - without endlessly meddling in Zimbabwe's Internal Affairs.


An important additionally updated inclusion to the plan specifically relates to the award of Massive Financial (and Administrative) Concessions to those Charitable Organizations which are independently (and ethically) assisting Zimbabwe with various Agricultural Projects , Sanitation (Sewage) Issues , Safe Drinking Water Initiatives , Basic Education Strategies , Micro-Credit Facilities , Public Health Programmes and Medical Services - most especially at the Local (Grassroots) Level.


All that it will maverickly take (in this particular case) to independently oversee this exceptionally difficult time is a Firebrand (Top Level) African Union Mediation Commission made up of Winnie Mandela (of South Africa) , Ibrahim Babangida (of Nigeria) together with Jerry Rawlings (of Ghana) - and the whole Zimbabwean Election Problem will be amicably resolved long before you know it . . . so that ordinary Zimbabweans (out on the streets) will at least be able to afford bread , butter, milk , rice and fish - while all outstanding matters are carefully being ironed out by the Seasoned Mediators.

Africa is more than competent enough to expediently solve it's very own regional problems (Thank you very much). "