Press Update : Dr Joseph Chikelue Obi says Brand New Professional Title for International Alternative Medicine Doctors is in the Pipeline . . .

Chief Executive Officer of Royal College Of Alternative Medicine (RCAM) , Professor Joseph Chikelue Obi , has publicly advised all International Alternative Medicine Doctors to carefully put aside the equivalent of the sum of £999 (Nine Hundred and Ninety Nine GBP Pounds Sterling) for a Brand New Title in Alternative Medicine ; which will soon be launched on a global scale.

Speaking in London at the commencement of a Formidable International Speaking Tour , Professor Obi said:

" Something amazing is soon about to happen in the world of Alternative Medicine , and I warmly advise all International Alternative Medicine Doctors to carefully put aside the equivalent of the sum of £999 (Nine Hundred and Ninety Nine GBP Pounds Sterling) ; for a Brand New Professional Title in Evidence Based Alternative Medicine , which is due to be publicly unveiled sometime before the very end of this Year ".

Louise Redvers (Ex Evening Chronicle Reporter) Sensationally Collapses - As Shocking Sex Scandal Unceremoniously Explodes In Her Face !

" We are reliably informed that a one Miss Louise Redvers , ( formerly of the Evening Chronicle Newspaper and currently with the Aberdeen Evening Express News Media Group ) , has sensationally collapsed in total despair - after her shameless sexual escapades relating to a one Dr Joseph Chikelue Obi were shockingly made public ; very many years after she wantonly abused her position as a Journalist and woefully failed to racistly wreck his International Business Empire.

That one particular Professor Joseph Chikelue Obi would very warmly like to ethically wish the said Miss Louise Redvers an exceedingly speedy recovery indeed ; (most especially) pending the upcoming avalanche of further (extremely shocking) horny little revelations about her. "

Dr Joseph Chikelue Obi Launches Alternative Medicine Affiliate Programme ::: Commercial Advert ::: More Hilarious Obi Quotes Are Coming Soon . . .

Newsflash: Royal College of Alternative Medicine Summer Fellowship Commission Bonanza


We are momentously pleased to warmly announce that for the months of June , July and August 2008 ; all current Alternative Medicine Affiliates of Dr Joseph Chikelue Obi will duly be entitled to earn a one-off Bonus of US$500 ( Five Hundred American Dollars) for every Fully Paid Up RCAM Fellow who they ethically refer.


Kindly visit the Alternative Medicine Affiliate Network of Dr Joseph Obi ; for further details.


About the Alternative Medicine Affiliate Network:

Royal College of Alternative Medicine Strongman Dr Joseph Chikelue Obi is presently hiring Internet Business Affiliates for the ethical viral marketing of the 2009 International Editions of his Self Care Publications.


All seriously interested candidates with an exceedingly formidable track record in online sales and networking should kindly click here to contact him without delay.


Your current Linkedin Profile must have at least five hundred (500) connections plus five recommendations , before your application will be considered ; as your Validated Linkedin Profile will officially serve as your CV (Resume).


Remuneration Payment (Commission) is permanently fixed at 25% of your net generated revenue.


Wednesday is the designated Payday - Every Blessed Week.


All commissions will be processed electronically.


Thank you.

Professor Obi v Professor Joseph Chikelue Obi - A Tinsy Winsy Little Paragraph relating to Tim Ireland , Crown Prince of Bloggerheads . . .

" The precise moment when a one Professor (Dr) Joseph Chikelue Obi became totally convinced that he had indeed ultimately reached Uber-Celebrity , Online Status , was when he metaphorically woke up (one boring winter's morning) to pleasurably discover the firm , exploratory tongue of a one Mr Tim Ireland (a.k.a Manic Lord of Bloggerheads) fervently stuck up his gluteus - voraciously rimming away with wanton (stalker-like) impunity . . ."

Professor Joseph Chikelue Obi v Professor Obi - Collateral Quackometer Publicity

"Collateral Global Publicity from the most recent Quackometer Blog Shutdown has delightfully served the online reputation of a one Professor Joseph Chikelue Obi exceedingly well indeed . . .

That very same Professor (Dr) Joseph Chikelue Obi still warmly relishes the utterly mischievous thought of summarily replicating the Landmark Quackometer Event ; sometime again . . . in the not-too-distant (earthly) future."

Dr Joseph Chikelue Obi versus Dr Joseph Obi - Quackometer Duck Stew

"Further to my recent (widely publicized) comments concerning Mr Andrew Lewis of the Quackometer Blog , and his Mother's Purulently Dripping , Gaping Perineum . . . I wish to very humbly state that it was Andy Lewis who came after me and my innocent family first.

To this effect , I have hereby publicly resolved to voraciously go after him (and the deep , wide , bag of stinking fulminating pus which rottenly begat him) . . . in the very same way that he has viciously gone after me and my innocent family.

Rest assured that (a one) Doctor Joseph Chikelue Obi will definitely not stop verbally pummelling that wretched little Quackometer Duck - until every damned morsel of it's flesh is appropriately stewed to perfection . "

Joseph Chikelue Obi V Joseph Obi - How to OutQuack the Quackometer )

"Successfully Outquacking that wretched little Defamatory Quackometer Blog (of Mr Andy Lewis) is as easy as ABC : All that you really need to have is massive amounts of patience , guts and stamina - Just like a one Dr Joseph Chikelue Obi . . .

First - Temporarily get the Quackometer Blog summarily shut down (or speedily dumped by it's Web Hosting Company) . . . in full public view (for maximum powerplay effect).

Then - Brazenly sit back and effortlessly enjoy Free Lifelong Publicity from all those morbidly delusioned Quackometer Ducklings ; most of who will never ever (ever) be able to comprehensively get over the woeful shame of such a (totally mesmerizing) public hammering !


Finally - Always remember to (very ,very) politely invoke the Quackometer's (phallus-faced) mother's purulently dripping perineum ; if ever the monumentally deranged Andrew Lewis crazily comes after your very own family . . ."

Louise Redvers (Aberdeen Evening Express) - Part 3 of the Joseph Chikelue Obi affair . . .

"A lot of my Cheeky Grampian Friends in Scotland still continue to ask me whether a one Dr Joseph Chikelue Obi would graciously allow a one Editor Louise Redvers to orally do him the honours , if ever he unexpectedly bumped into her again on a Very Lonely Friday Night on Union Street ; now that the Horny Old Miss Redvers currently works for the Aberdeen Evening Express Newspaper.

I warmly (and politely) continue to duly advise them all that that one particular Dr Joseph Chikelue Obi shall ethically continue to leave such passionate little options perfectly open . . . as his speed of Sympathetic Trouser Drop will comprehensively depend on whether her Outrageous Gardnerella Stench has since been industriously tackled by Better Feminine Hygiene and Thorough Medical Supervision . "

Louise Redvers (Ex Evening Chronicle Reporter) - Part 2

" I was recently lucky enough to speak on the phone to one of the totally disgusted colleagues of Miss Louise Redvers , formerly of the Newcastle Evening Chronicle.

From what I candidly gathered (all in the very best possible taste ,of course) , it would transparently appear that Miss Redvers seemed so obsessed with a one Dr Joseph Chikelue Obi , that she irately took it upon herself to fraudulently concoct almost every single fantasist column inch and wayward newspaper editorial about the aforementioned Doctor - even when she was fully advised of her very many inaccuracies , half truths and untruths.


But our good old Louise was certainly never ever going to allow the truth to drably get in the way of a Good Story - or better still , a Mighty Racist Avalanche of Particularly Very Good Stories . . .

Sadly for her though , despite Louise Redvers shamelessly using the name of a one Joseph Chikelue Obi to voraciously sell millions of Tabloid Newspapers (and even win a Parochial Newspaper Award) - poor Miss Louise Redvers never ever managed to break it into the Top Editorial Position within the Trinity Mirror Group which she so madly craved for.

Feeling totally ashamed of herself, (as I was then shockingly informed) , she then sensationally fled (in tears) from Newcastle all the way up to Aberdeen ; where she was last seen working as a News Editor for the DC Thomson Media Group , in which she is unsurprisingly still yet to produce any Award Winning Tabloid Stories which ever even came close (in terms of Proportionate Media Sales) to those which she callously wrote about a one Dr Joseph Chikelue Obi ."

Louise Redvers (Ex Newcastle Chronicle Journalist) : Part 1 * : Hell Knoweth No Fury . . .

"Had I honestly known that Miss Louise Redver's very many sensational Tabloid Newspaper Articles about me would have ultimately generated so much hassles , I would have obediently dropped my trousers and painfully allowed her to perform quickie fellatio on me . . . when she consistently demanded it in lieu of StoryKill.

From the exceptionally bitter tone of the countless Front Page Headliners which she obsessively wrote about a one Dr Joseph Chikelue Obi , it seems comprehensively obvious (without a single doubt) that Hell indeed hath no fury - especially when compared to a (Gardnerella-Scented) Woman who has persistently been scorned. "

Sir Anthony Joseph Francis O' Reilly (Irish Independent) : Part 2 * - The Irrevocable 'Obi' Curse . . .

"Royal College of Alternative Medicine (RCAM) currently pays proportionately far more Irish Income Taxes than a one Mr Anthony Joseph Francis O'Reilly (himself) - yet the morbidly shameless Artful Tax Dodger still has the Purulent Brazen Audacity to use his Xenophobic Irish Independent Newspaper to publicly claim that RCAM does not exist.

I therefore sincerely hope (and spiritually pray) that he ultimately dies a very slow and exceedingly painful death indeed - as his non-negotiable punishment from the Great Almighty One "

Scumbag Tony O Reilly ( Irish Independent Boss ) : Part 1 *

" I knew that I had really arrived on the Global Political Scene when I flatteringly heard that Media Xenophobe-in-Chief Sir Tony O Reilly had personally given his blessing to one of his Racist Journalists at the Irish Independent Group to run an utterly useless Headline Article about a one Dr Joseph Chikelue Obi and Royal College of Alternative Medicine . . . even when they all fully well knew that Royal College of Alternative Medicine legally outsourced most of it's operations and was also duly incorporated and trademarked under Irish Law.

The people who they claimed they had interviewed for the article have defiantly sworn that they never said anything anywhere near what the Irish Independent fraudulently wrote, and the whole article itself decisively bears the hallmarks of a Klu Klux Klan Hatchet Job

Never mind , I shall calmly retaliate by publicly putting the Perma-Tanned , Slanderous Scumbag (and Tax Dodging Son-of-a-Bitch) in his right and proper place , at my very own personal leisure - and will effortlessly continue to do so until he contritely coughs up appropriate financial compensation."

Dr Joseph Chikelue Obi | " The Most Maverick Public Speaker of the 21st Century "

Hello Fans,


This is just a very short message to warmly inform you all that I am always available for Public Speaking Engagements anywhere on the Planet.


Do not hesitate to contact me anytime via my New Public Speaking Website if ever the need arises.


Thank you for all of your fabulous support.


Lots of Love,


x x x Obi x x x


Dr Joseph Chikelue Obi